Epiphany

As a matter of course in my life, I read books written by the Fathers, Saints, and Elders of the Orthodox church - especially focused on the Elders and saints of Mount Athos. Though I am married, have two daughters and "live in the world", I have spent the last several years trying to find how, as a layperson "burdened" with responsibilities in the world (1Corinthians7), I can acquire the heart of a monk. To say the least, it has been a challenging struggle - but a very blessed one.

Away on a business trip one week, during prayer one evening, I begged the Lord to reveal to me how to achieve this state within my heart. There is a great insight and truth to the power of praying when alone, in darkness, in full focus on your soul's state and God's incredible mercy and love. In this state of momentary purity of heart, God truly hears, and, eventually - if you are attentive and 'listening' - answers.

It was on a long drive home from the office when this answer came. It came quietly, gently, yet very focused, very surely His voice in answer to this prayer. As I pondered the day, sitting in traffic, going over the day's challenges, meetings and such, a completely un-associated thought popped in my mind.

"This is your Athos" was the 'voice'. At first I considered it a random thought of my own. In that same instant, I was reminded of my prayer a week or so before in the midst of tears. Bingo - it all made sense. My life, along with its struggles, challenges, sorrows, and blessings, is the essence of my 'monasticism'.

We are called - all of us, laypersons and monastics alike - to engage in catharsis - that struggle to obtain a pure heart that we might see God (Matthew 5:8). It all suddenly made sense. I (that is, we - all of us) must accept and embrace where we are RIGHT NOW in our life. Some, indeed, are called to the monastic life - but most of us are not. But it does not matter, we are ALL called to a life of catharsis - a life striving for purification. Catharsis is what WE can to to obtain or 'gain ground' in our getting back to God. We also must hope for reaching Fotisis (illumination) and, finally, Theosis (our reuniting with God) in this life. But these last two stages are of, and from, God alone. Our part is the struggle of Catharsis. This is our part. This is our struggle, our cross.

Wherever you are, whoever you are, we are, all of us, monastics in the sense that we all have (or should have) the same goal in life - to be reconnected with our God. To be back in paradise - not so much physically, as this world has been given to the prince of darkness, but paradise, or, as I like to think, the desert of our hearts.

I do not know why God has blessed me so. I do not deserve the constant  blessings I receive, but I do know this - you, and you, and you, are my brothers, my sisters in life. We are - all of us - on the same road. Some have strayed (as I so often do), but we are all looking for the same thing (whether we know it or not) - God, our Father.

Thanks for reading this blog. Thanks for your love - however it plays out in your life. Love is what we need, because God is Love.

I pray that, through the Theotokos, God may have mercy on us all......

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.